Create your own God

"Man was created in God's Image" -Somewhere in the genesis

I think people create God in their own image. I view God as a compassionate healer, because that's who I want to be. Guilt-ridden individuals often have an image of a vengeful and angry God who never forgets even a single indiscretion (i.e. a God created in the image of my mother). And small-minded ignorant racists have a God that is small-minded, willingly sending all people who aren't "just like them" to hell and eternal damnation. That God, conveniently, is just as big of a dick as the follower. I am not making a statement as to the existance of God, just towards how people personify God.

Fly-Overs

Cool video sent to me by albert showing all air-traffic in the world in a 24-hour period.
lots of planes!

Freemasons at large in augusta

I have been noticing lots of freemason symbols around augusta. I will post as I document them. Here is a picture of the cornerstone of MCG hospital.

Space Olympics

Watch this immediately

Space Olympics

Kicking a robot

this robot is awesome. I initially thought it was two humans in a costume. in fact, it is all robot. my favorite part is when the guy kicks it.

The Charleston + Daft Punk

I love the charleston, and daft punk is good too. together, it makes a thrilling combination.

Paul Schaeffer!!

Here is a great video of Paul Schaeffer...that's right, the one from the late show...singing a song about the evils of speaking lashon harah (translated literally as "evil speech" or "evil tongue", it is meant to refer to gossip). I think it's amazing. thank you Tani P. for finding this gem.

http://www.ou.org/ou/event_more/national_day_of_lashon_hara_awareness

Twitch

Twitch Itch lurks deep in the face and in the throat, waiting for his moment to whisper "believe in me, pan." oh! you pixie-spewing bitch, you heroin that begs for my acceptance yet rules my compulsions. forcing, grimacing, tightening I can squeeze you out, I can take control of my receptors and crush you in a vice of self-control. but Twitch Itch, you wait in the silence, in the moments of calm, in the time that I take for myself, you demand attention. You stalk for focus and once you grab it, you Siren, once you grab it your scorpion-tail injects its opiate-addiction into whatever you convince me will make me feel right. that panacea is my remedy, but the high is short-lived. Twitch Itch, send me to heaven, only to cackle as you impale my frontal lobe with another dopamine-drenched trident of scrunched forehead, crinkled nose, and blinked eyes.

Professional Jesus

I recently attended a professionalism forum held by our school, which was the culmination of a week of lectures, diatribes, and castigations on acting like a professional. And I agree, doctors should be professionals, and med students should start acting that way as they transition into that life. What was impressed upon me throughout the professionalism lectures was mutual respect for those around us. That includes patients, colleagues, strangers on the street. And that seems like a good moral lesson in general. At this forum, MCG, a public university funded nearly entirely by citizen tax dollars, had a speaker stand up and say something to the extent of, “…and only through the grace of THE lord and savior jesus Christ, was I able to overcome this…” This to me embodies unprofessionalism. I, and I bet not a few others, was made very uncomfortable by this. I am not a Christian, I have no desire to be a Christian. What place in a professionalism forum is there for a phrase like Lord and savior jesus Christ. It is so unilateral, so authoritarian. It assumes that we in the crowd would agree with you, that we in the crowd are not off-put by your mentioning the phrase lord and savior jesus Christ. I cringe at that phrase, because it reminds me of all those horror stories about the Spanish inquisition told to me at too-young an age, it reminds me of intolerance. I know that this nice young man standing up on the stage was just so grateful to be given a second chance (he had cancer it turns out), but why not just say God, why not just say, “thankfully;” why did he say lord and savior jesus Christ. This is evangelical. I recognize we are here in the bible-belt, and that augusta, GA in particular is a very religiously Christian place. I’m happy that so many people are taking advantage of the rights granted us in this country (that is to practice whatever version of religion you so please, no matter how soul-crushing). This seems sublime, slight. Another example:

During our first week of school, we had nightly events, which I believe were school-sanctioned. One of the events was a BBQ hosted by MCO: a medical-student run Christian outreach group. Along with the great people and delicious veggie burgers, they distributed pamphlets on opportunities for bible study and medical mission trips. MISSION TRIPS! Taken together, this all just seems so inappropriate. MCG is a public, state-run institution. What happened to separation of church and state? I recognize that this is a student group, and that this was a student speaking, but why is it not being ingrained into us that proclaiming your religious beliefs as if they were face, at a public forum, is not appropriate. Is unprofessional. What frightens me is my suspicion that the reason why no one complains (and I have anecdotal evidence to back this up) is because the administration and student body are in a vast majority religious Christians, perhaps ascribing to some evangelical breed. Again, these people are free to practice their religion, but a measure of discretion and subtlety in delivering public displays of faith is long overdue.

ID and humanity

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=15-answers-to-creationist


Compelling and interesting. I agree with the authors conclusion. I have studied evolution extensively in school, and I have also read mike behe's book "darwins black box," which is considered the bible of intelligent design (aside from the actual bible). What offends me the most about intelligent design is exactly the point the author spoke about: that it is a non science. ID essentially ends debate by saying "we don't know how this structure could have evolved, so it MUST be designed." that isn't good science, its a cop out. We can find answers, we just need to keep looking and thinking. What the enlightenment accomplished was to free western society from the dark ages of religion and superstition dictating out understanding of nature. Since the scopes monkey trial, biblical literalists have attempted to hijack and undermine the scientific pursuit of evolution as some sort of offensive anti religious theory when in fact it really is not a theological issue for all but the most biblically ignorant. Now Christian religious fanatics have stopped stem cell research, even when clever and inventive scientists have up with a method of deriving embryonic stem cells while preserving the viability of the embryo. This ignorance of fact and blind nay saying is frightening. Of course, our scientific pursuits should be tempered by our ethics and values, but ignorance and blind faith are not a substitute for informed morality. Another example is a law recently struck down in second reading in the Ga congress, which, if passed, would prevent women with ectopic pregnancies from receiving abortions from their physician without a court order. Ectopic pregnancies are when the fertilized egg impants in the fallopian tube (or other places) instead of in the uterus. Ectopic pregnancies will always self abort, and if allowed to come to that point, will cause a massive hemmhorage which will probably kill the mother. But fanatically right wing Christians are so uninformed and willingly ignorant, or perhaps just stubborn, that instead of considering a mothers life where a fetus would die anyways, they want to require a court order before allowing a doctor to save a life. And the questioning of evolution has opened the door on wholesale ignorance of scientific fact and progress.

Why my faith is dwindling

I want to maintain faith in my religion. I began a search for something more at age 18, and still I'm looking. That looking is ok with me. The following makes me sick. In the words of tani palefski (the following was also taken from his blog, sweet gams!):
"Rabbi Ephraim Luft of Bnei Brak, Israel has taken it upon himself to define "kosher music" and ban everything that doesn't fit that definition. In my opinion, this amounts to an abuse of power and an assault on the human spirit."

the following links will sicken you:
http://sweetgams.blogspot.com/2008/09/kosher-music-defined.html

rules: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/bsp/hi/pdfs/11_9_08_kosher_music.pdf

Proof!

Several months ago I wrote a note called "Thoughts on the Origin," that detailed a theory I developed with my wife (who is a skeptic), that explains an apparent gap in darwinian evolution, the creationist battle-cry of irreducible complexity. I supposed earlier that cells have an inherent internal intelligence that they use to drive their evolution in a positive direction. Now I have found a suggested proof of this: enter Japanese cell biologist Toshiyuki Nakagaki. In a paper appearing in the prestigious Nature journal, he noted how the slime mold Physarum Polycephalum, when placed in a maze, will determine the shortest possible route towards its food (Nature 407, 470 (28 September 2000)). This means that an amoeboid slime mold can make decisions on length of time and distance, and can elect to use the shortest distance possible. Mind you, these notably dendritic mycelial structures do have some resemblance to a highly primitive neural network, but one can hardly compare a slime mold mat on a forest floor to even a lobster's brain. It is oft-assumed that the lower eukaryotic and all prokaryotic species do not make decisions, do not have the ability to make decisions. However, as one who has dabbled in and been amazed by cellular life, the power and depth of the living organism should not be underestimated. The old way of looking at cells, that they simply react uncontrollably to stimuli presented to them, and the greater the stimulus the greater the reaction until threshold et cetera, is a mindset that underestimates the capability of the cell.
What I postulate is that cells illustrate intelligence on not just the macro whole-organism level, but even on the internal moloecular signaling level. Take cancer cells for instance. A p16-deficient melanoma cell will use the PI-3 kinase and akt signaling pathway to regulate its survival and proliferation. When faced with an insult, some drug or toxin that interrupts this signaling, the cancer cell will switch signaling pathways, perhaps to mTOR, or even some other pathway. This is evident in the treatment of elusive and deadly cancers like melanoma (J Invest Dermatol. 2006 Oct;126(10):2160-6.). What is amazing is the cells ability to adapt and change based on its environment. Of course, in this case, it is cell regulation gone awry, but the trait is still evident. So perhaps then, it is not an inconceivable jump to suggest that cells, over time, great amount of time, can drive permanent alterations to their phenotype and even genotype. Such alterations can even go so far as to develop into novel species, distinct from the ancestor.

Business as Usual?

I have alot to say on the American Yeshivas in Israel, and the society which surrounds them, but I want to make this note directed to a point. Forgive me if a ramble or digress. I recently read a note by someone I know who just started his year at Ner Yaakov, my old rompin' grounds 2001-2002. In his neophyte experience at said institution, he comments to the extent of: I don't understand why people say Ner Jake is so religious when only 2 or 3 people last year 'flipped out' (to use the parlance of our times). This is a popular myth, he says.

I responded: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with getting offensively observant, but if you think Ner Jake's well-accomplished goal of making crazy kids crazy frum is a myth, then you are in for a true surprise come the grand siyum (graduation dinner, basically).

I want to elaborate my opinion. When I went to Israel in that fateful September 01, I was all spit-shine and excitement with my new-found faith in Hashem Almighty. I was all set for a packed year of growth and fulfillment, of besting my parents' deviant lifestyles, of growing beyond my past, and becoming my own very religious man. Myriad reasons brought me to Ner Jake, but when I got there, I was shocked: Shlomo was breaking beer bottles in the hall, Michoel was asking me to lock his 3 cases of cigarettes ("stoges" I believe was the term he used) in my locker for the night, the air was filled with rap and smoke and "fuck that" and "motherfuck this." Needless to say, it was a tough first night,in fact it was a tough first week, and a downright depressing first month for a wet-behind-the-ears baal-teshuva like myself.

But a Yeshiva is devoted to learning, and how was it at Ner Yaakov? As part of finding God and His beautiful Judaism, I also clung to Zionism and related ideals which, I felt, were congruent and essential with my religious beliefs. I was confronted head-on at Ner Jake about these beliefs. One of the most-esteemed and learned Magid Shiur's went as far as to choke me over it. Hardly a beacon-head of free thought. So I spent many months sharpening my debating skills sparring head-to-head with my various teachers, who had no shortage of powerful logic and dull-headed obstinance. What I did learn was that in Ner Jake, it is the talmid, and never the teacher, who is expected to alter his beliefs. I feel that at Ner Jake--and what I have learned is a commonality among many other similar institutions--if you do not fit a mold of rebellion (you don't smoke, you don't get high, you don't drink heavily, you LIKE being frum), they do not entirely know how to approach you, but will nevertheless find some issue, no matter how menial, some issue upon which to berate, to fixate, to attack. There must be something wrong with you, after all! So much of my year was devoted to defending my right to believe that the State of Israel is legitimate in its own right. The Revolt indeed, Mr. Begin!

I wish someone had told me what Dr. Palefsky told his son before his voyage into Yeshivaland: Yeshiva's are a business, a business of keeping Jewish asses (no double entendre intended) in the Yeshiva. So I am left with a question of conflict-of-interest: Are these holymen, these rabbis, these supposed enlightened scholars with whom we entrust our minds, nay our futures, are they sincere in their pedagogical pursuits? Can we believe that the turning of a wild youth into a black-hatted talmudist bears no financial, or maybe just egotistic, influence on the Rabbinical staff? As the pressure grew in January, in April, for these boys to get their butts in Shiur (class), to get going with being frum, to start considering a second year in Ner Jake, was this pressure indeed altruistic? Or were they the pawns that bowed unwittingly to a swift check-mate on American Dollars? Is Ner Yaakov's pushy, hardline, results-driven process purely for the growth of the student, or is their something that makes a wealthy American-turned-kollelnik a little more financially rewarding for the venerated Rosh Yeshiva? Was it, in fact, business as usual?

Thoughts on the Origin

I recently read a book called "Darwin's Black Box," by Michael Behe. This is the main work espousing Intelligent Design in the origin and development of Earth's species. Behe's argument, in essence, is that the Darwinian approach towards evolution is false: that natural selection of random mutations cannot account for many structures and methods present in a variety of advanced and simple organisms. He contends that some structures are "irreducibly complex," meaning that some structures have multiple individual parts, and if one of these parts were removed from the system, the entire system would cease to function. Examples he gives are bacterial cilia, blood clotting, and anabolism of adenosine monophosphate (AMP). His arguments are powerful, and though it goes against much of the accepted truths vis-a-vis the origin of life on this planet, Darwin's theory will have to own up to the problem of irreducible complexity.
But it got me to thinking, that maybe there are other impetuses for genetic adaptation and increased complexity beyond that of simple mutation and improved survival. Darwin's theory has always seemed a little too brutal, a little to capitalist, for me. I don't like Intelligent Design though. This isn't because I am a stalwart atheist, on the contrary I am a Believer. But science is like a game. The goal of the game is to explain natural phenomenon by observable, repeatable, empirical processes. The presence of a Designer that can alter nature at His whim throws a wrench in the gears. Plus, though you can see the irreducible complexity on a biochemical level, you don't see a Designer fiddling with the process. You see repeatability. The same proteins do the same thing. Would there be a Designer doing SUPERNATURAL things, like generating irreducibly complex biochemical machines, then when does it stop? Is it happening now? Once you open the door to a Designer, there ceases to be a logical flow and repeatability upon which scientific study seemingly rests. The other issue with Intelligent Design is a philosophy of science quandry known as argument of imperfection. If a designer would make a cell, wouldn't he make it perfect. He wouldn't include genetic redundancy or blind spots in the eye. I know, you can't assume to know the intentions of a Designer, just to recognize whether design is present (which is seems to be), but still. It doesn't sit right.
So I have another theory. I feel that there is a certain internal intelligence in all living things. Let's start with something highly intelligent: humans. Where does our intelligence stem from (leave the soul out of this please, as it is non-physical nor empirical)? We are so smart because we have such a great interconnection and communication between all those electrochemical cells in our heads; a hugely dense network, somewhere on the amount of trillions of connections, where cells can rapidly speak to each other, collaborate. So that is on a macro-scale, in a multi-celled organism. What about something smaller, like a rodent? less connections, less cells, seemingly less intelligence. Smaller still, the platyhelminthes (flatworm), it moves towards light, finds food, reproduces. Definately alive, knows what light is, moves towards it. Knows what food is. What about my pumpkin plant? It reached out its tendrils directly towards the neighboring tomato vine, wrapped around the tendril, and ignored the nice trellis I set up for it. It discerned between two objects...seemingly intelligent. Let's go down smaller: the bacteria. Single-celled. It can move around independently with its ingenious flagella. It generates toxins to poison other cells. It makes energy from sugar it eats, it expels waste. Much like us, only smaller. Those who are familiar with the complexity of the cell know that they are certainly alive, and they seem intelligent. There is great communication and feedback between the many system and compartments of the cell. There is intricate cellular machinery that reads DNA at 1000 bases per minute, accurately. There are cellular motors, there are structural elements that look like scaffolding, there are little conveyor belts that bring cargo from one area to another. The cell is filled the ingenious, perfected mechanisms that are all based around unique protein-catalyzed chemical interactions. The cell can fulfill nearly any need it may have.My theory is that "internal intelligence of the cell," corresponds directly with the amount of feedback and communication within the cell and it's neighboring cells. I feel that this intelligence drives cells to change, allows them to purposefully generate pathways that are favorable towards its survival. This explains why cells seem so adequately adapted to their environment, they purposefully generate needed changes. They mutate not randomly, but with purpose. They have inherent intelligence. All our cells do. Our brain cells have intelligence, they can tell other cells what to do, and they cooperate. They tell muscle cells to contract, they tell endocrine cells to secrete, they tell other brain cells to shoot out electrical impulses. They store information, and can recall it quickly. So if our many brain cells as a unit have intelligence, why not on a smaller level. Why not a much smaller intellect, that does not act on a level which we do, but on a cellular level commits intelligent actions. I feel that given the impetus, a cell would effect a change necessary for its survival/betterment. Human, often egotistically, think that they are the only beings with true intelligence. But we are just cells, and so is everything else alive. It has to be that other cells possess smaller levels of our very intelligence.
How does this fit into the origin of the species? Well, this is where I get a little spiritual. If cells possess this intelligence, and their intelligence is a product of protein interactions, feedback, and communication, then what about on a smaller level? When is something considered intelligent? Chemicals are not intelligent. Lipids, which make our cell walls, do not think, they do what is energetically favorable. Let's draw out a paradigm of the origin of life.

Lipid bi-layers form by micelle exclusion in a primordial mix. Lightning, UV, and heat from the sun and volcanoes form amino acids and some nucleotide precursors (See Miller-Urey Experiment). Amino acids link to each other to form the first proteins, via some localized acidity or basicity within the micelle. With millions of years to form millions of types of proteins, eventually some complex proteins are formed. These proteins, with the capability of quickening reactions, express the most basic form of intelligence. Once there is greater interaction between proteins and other molecules, cells are able to effect more change. The more proteins present, the more change can be made, because more reactions can be catalyzed. Eventually, I have no idea how, the central dogma was in place, DNA to RNA to Protein. At this point, cells express great levels of intelligence.

What interests me about this is that it jives well with a view of an omnipresent all-powerful God. It also jives well with a feeling that God is present in all beings. God is not proteins, but God is meaningful intelligence. And all living things contain that Godliness. Humans contain it to a great extent. It is an exciting prospect to think that all living things surrounding you are thinking, acting, changing deliberately. That the very things that make you think, make other organisms think. I don't know if this is true or not, but it's my latest theory.

Fast Moving

A FLAGELLATION IN worD-(association)-MINOR
or
How I want to spend my summer vacation

Fast moving, fast flying, ever-whirling streams of amber grain and make-it-happen and success and all the rest that comes with an endless beartrap of social responsiblities. Will it crush the spirit, that writhing growing hexus, that drags you away from all the things you love and hate and want and need and want to throw away, will it pull you towards some ad infinitum some spinning uncontrollable unemotional "get in your cubicle!" and "get down to business!" What about the wind and the rain and the beckoning wetland and the swept mountain side, what about the hard rock and the soft soil it turns into and turns over. bring me the untuned and discard the social propping that *adorns* that latent beauty that wants to scream "let me run." get away from me you meandering pestering judgement, you worn-in do and don't do, let me achieve some clarity, some vision, something to hold on to. something that isn't what's he got what's he own what's he WORTH?! endless mindless chatter in an overflowing web of tangled neuron, disorganized visions of how it should be and how it is. unclear sights and sounds and feeling of quesiness. angry people angry at impulsive actions and poorly thought out apologies and wild responses (and where the hell is that catharsis perhaps its hiding, perhaps in the log, perhaps under the stone, perhaps within. perhaps all the important looking-in and looking-out get masked beneath a do do do go go go) and misplaced temperments. where will it go or is this it?